B-Crew's Crib

Msn conversations must be made interesting- they cannot function by themselves

2007-09-03T08:58:00.000+08:00

'' That's it man, I'm gonna start studying tomorrow!'' - Joel/Aranab/Romit
'' Whatever man....'' - Romit/Aranab/Joel

Msn conversations, are by most standards utterly boring.

They go like this:

A: Wassup
B: nm, sup?
A: nm
B: aite cya(retard, don't bother me)
A: cya ( fuckface at least type in something worth my time)

So Yesterday, I made a special effort to make an online conversation with a friend interesting.
Needless to say, that was the most fruitful 22 minutes on msn for him this year.

Conversation: (bear with the length)

Romit says:

imagine Ashley likes jack

Romit says:

and then joel does

Romit says:

and they start fighting over it

Romit says:

and chong finds out

Romit says:

and he gets pissed and sends them to counselor

Romit says:

And then because they're so pissed with each other

Romit says:

they fail their promos

Romit says:

then they hate b crew next year

Romit says:

and they study damn hard

Romit says:

but joel turns 18 and gets involved with alcohol and drugs

Romit says:

Ashley tries to stop him

Romit says:

they get into a fight again

Romit says:

then they fail again

Romit says:

Sajc kicks em out

Romit says:

Ashley joins the army and gets a job

Romit says:

then joel starts forming his own band

Romit says:

and slowly they start sneaking in marijuana from Malaysia

Romit says:

to Singapore

Romit says:

then one day joel is caught by Ashley

Romit says:

who by then becomes a customs guards

Romit says:

joel is given 8 years in prison

Romit says:

Ashley feels guilty for arresting joel

Romit says:

and then he commits a minor offence to enter jail

Romit says:

and he and joel plan an escape

perhaps its best this way. says:

i knew that was coming

Romit says:

and then they finally escape

Romit says:

lemme finish my story

perhaps its best this way. says:

Romit says:

then when they escape

Romit says:

They become hitmen for gang 69

Romit says:

then through receiving funds from my company and from alex, now a German businessman

Romit says:

they takeover gang 69

Romit says:

they become the leaders

Romit says:

they become drug lords in singapore

Romit says:

they slowly enters the political scene

Romit says:

they make large donations to institutions

Romit says:

and finance the opposition party

Romit says:

then finally... in 2020 the opposition party wins

Romit says:

with joel and Ashley being the puppeteers and the opposition being the puppets

Romit says:

and then

Romit says:

they send a hitman squad to Amsterdam

Romit says:

they begin harvesting from the drug land

Romit says:

exporting everywhere

Romit says:

meanwhile

Romit says:

Ashley realizes that marijuana is a better fuel than almost all other fuels

Romit says:

this amazing discovery leads to the closure of many fuel and oil companies

Romit says:

they purchase exclusive rights to sell marijuana

Romit says:

and get immense amounts of money

Romit says:

they start investing in major media corporations and funding government campaigns.

Romit says:

At this point, the german businessman starts investing in mind control technology after learning his great grandfather was a Nazi scientist who experimented in the occult and his aunt traveled to Russia to study soviet mind control

Romit says:

The german is funded by ashley and joel

Romit says:

he assembles a group of scientists

Romit says:

then, the scientists start R&d

Romit says:

eventually, they realize the power of subliminal programming via messages

Romit says:

Alex is informed, and soon so are ashley and joel

Romit says:

however, in order to display such subliminal messages

Romit says:

a friendly face is required to advertise such messages

Romit says:

they contact kudtarkar, the don of India

Romit says:

he suggests they hold a campaign to locate this 'friendly face'

Romit says:

Meanwhile, Aranabs porn industries hear of this campaign

Romit says:

and they suggest a sadface

Romit says:

the despair on the face will help to attract people to listen to the words in the advertisement and so be mind controlled.

Romit says:

using the Assassin's(Kudtarkar) supercomputer, they locate sadface

Romit says:

endorsing use of butt implants

Romit says:

they convince him to advertise for the products

Romit says:

he agrees

Romit says:

soon, the whole world is subject to subliminal messages

Romit says:

only one person is unaffected

Romit says:

He who is called the ' g spot'

Romit says:

He has so much sex that television or media influence is something of little concern to him

Romit says:

He is a sex guru residing in the Himalayan mountains

Romit says:

He cannot be tempted by money

Romit says:

He realizes that the world is being mind controlled

Romit says:

in order to restore balance to the world

Romit says:

he communicates with god

Romit says:

by using excessive amounts of LSD and marijuana.

Romit says:

God answers by sending him cartloads of LSD and Beer

Romit says:

' my son, this is the only way to salvation. The people are blinded. the only access to the spiritual center is being blocked out by the media. use these, and enlighten the people'

Romit says:

And so G spot spreads these condiments through the world

Romit says:

He infiltrates the water systems of water exporting and producing companies

Romit says:

In 2 months time, the entire world is aware that they are being brainwashed.

Romit says:

There is a psychological television

Romit says:

There is a psychological revolution*

Romit says:

chaos spreads like wildfire

Romit says:

In their hatred of all modern infrastructure and media

Romit says:

All buildings, computers, phones and every imaginable modern piece of infrastructure is destroyed

Romit says:

time is restored

Romit says:

peace ensues,

Romit says:

We have converted back to the stone age times.

Romit says:

The only activity that is still prevalent

Romit says:

Is smoking weed

Romit says:

During the chaos, several businesses including alex's aranab's and kudtarkar's are destroyed.

Romit says:

Joel and ashley convert to a path os spirituality

Romit says:

Kudtarkar lives in the wild with the panthers

Romit says:

and becomes one with nature

Romit says:

Aranab becomes a monstrous entity

Romit says:

all sorts of organisms build nests and lair in his immense coat of hair

Romit says:

Alex and sadface have a secret though

Romit says:

deep in the heart of sajc

Romit says:

They have the biggest stash

Romit says:

of marijuana

Romit says:

on the eve of judgement day

Romit says:

they smoke all of it

Romit says:

and their spirits rise to heaven

Romit says:

as do joel's and ashley's

Romit says:

Aranab becomes the life center of the world

Romit says:

He is the life giver

Romit says:

the life provider

Romit says:

He is the life sustainer

Romit says:

He becomes god's right hand man

Romit says:

Romit is still alive on earth

Romit says:

being one with nature.

Romit says:

being one with humanity

Romit says:

Aranab looks over humanity

Romit says:

and slowly

Romit says:

becomes jealous of the lifestyle of romit

Romit says:

He has so much freedom and no responsibilities

Romit says:

He revolts against god

Romit says:

And he becomes lucifer

Romit says:

god banishes him to the depths of the earths crust

Romit says:

Aranab sets up base there

Romit says:

and forever torments the humans of earth

Romit says:

meanwhile

Romit says:

humans reverted back to stone age

Romit says:

while animals evolve

Romit says:

interspecies breeding comes about

Romit says:

Mosquito-tigers are born

Romit says:

the dominant species are the bat-swordfish

Romit says:

who can detect approach enemies and pierce them with their sword-like noses

Romit says:

at the same time

Romit says:

joel fights with ashley in heaven

Romit says:

because ashley didn't wanna go to the toilet with him

Romit says:

joel turns against god

Romit says:

and joins aranab

Romit says:

alex starts making fun of ashley in heaven

Romit says:

Ashley gets pissed and starts complaining to god

Romit says:

God fires ashley as his right hand man

Romit says:

and alex takes over

Romit says:

Sadface looks at god with his face

Romit says:

And god gets an idea

Romit says:

he sends sadface to hell

Romit says:

Aranab and joel look at sadface

Romit says:

As they look into his eyes

Romit says:

They are reminded of all their sins, all the times they made fun of ashley

Romit says:

They begin crying

Romit says:

And repent

Romit says:

god send them to earth

Romit says:

Where they project sadface's face all over the world

Romit says:

hearts are touched

Romit says:

Humans repent their mistakes and begin to live in peace and stop hunting

Romit says:

unfortunately animals do not experience our emotions

Romit says:

And all animals kill humans and take over the world.

Romit says:

The human species is made extinct

Romit says:

All humans are sent to heaven

Romit says:

beasts reign the world.

Romit says:

Up in heaven

Romit says:

Someone discovers electricity

Romit says:

The cycle begins again.

Romit says:

If only joel and ashley passed their promos huh?

I was impressed by myself.

A night to remember

2007-08-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

Random quote:
'' It was my first time, I felt such elation
Oh no. Premature ejaculation'' - Premature

Approximately 11pm, 24th august night :

I walk to my bedroom seeking solace in cushioned heaven and I hear the cries of an estranged soul from 13 floors below.

'' Yea I saw you making out with him!''
'' NO I didn't!!''
'' You did! You were on the couch and...''

At this point, a deep monstrous voice sounds"

'' MAN. They're so lucky there ain't any Asian chicks around. I love FUCKING THE SHIT OUTTA FAT ASIAN CHICKS!!''

I was intrigued, but my fatigued body rendered me an immobile corpse in a cushioned coffin. I slept.

Approximately 8 pm, 25th august:

The voices start sounding from 13 floors below. I must explore. I take the elevator down.

I walk by the gathering of 3 males and 3 females, eyeing the beer bottles with an insatiable lust. Before I can act, I hear:

'' HEY!! Indian DUDE!! Come join us Man!!'' .
It was the deep monstrous voice. His name was Brad.
'' DUDE! Does your chick read the kamasutra?!''

I soon realised that a universal bonding tool humans use is alcohol. It offers an escape from reality, and since most people hate their lives, it makes perfect sense why it is so popular.

We bonded over bottles of beer, sharing our previous alcohol-induced experiences and our tragic relationships. Alcohol is the link between bottled up emotions and perceived reality. I was sharing experiences with these people that I had long forgotten. Suppressed anger and unexpressed joy, all set free by 5 strangers and bottles of beer. One girl, (whose name shalt not be revealed) even shared her ''intimate'' secrets and fantasies with us.

It was an evening of revelations. The 5 Caucasians(especially brad) realised that most Indians don't read the kamasutra or give it to their girlfriends/mothers. I realised that even if you enjoy fornicating with overweight asian women, fantasize about sadomasochism or just wanna be a plain old motherfucker,alcohol makes us bond together not just as friends, but as humans on a whole level. I also realised that insects seem to benefit from human secretion more than plants and that I should wash off the alcohol smell before I go home.

2007-08-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

'' It was my first time, I felt such elation.
Oh no. Premature ejaculation'' - Premature

The Mathematical Function Y= f(Penis)

2007-05-19T16:05:00.000+08:00

Now, are we not glad that Graphing Techniques was not tested on friday's math test? Well at least Sexual Frequency was. It also made him seriously think about how he's gonna pass that chapter for the june common test. So after having studied it in depth today, he really got the hang of it...In fact, he got so enthusiastic about it, that he spent most of his time on deriving the equation which he calls Y= f(Penis).

The Results

OK...you have to admit that the results are rather astonishing; f(Penis) is given by the equation f(Penis)=[(m+x)^n+(n+y)^m]/[a^n+nb^3]. The constant "a" determines the length of the dick, "b" the testicular radius, "n" the saggyness of the scrotum and "m" the volume of the German WWII Army Helmet...

For some guys, the length of the dick takes the form "a^n" where "n" is less than 1. This means that as "n" approaches infinity, "a" converges at a sum to infinity, which turns out to be 5 cm (erected of course)...I do not want to mention any names...

Future Prospects

Sexual Frequency is hoping to discover the equation of the testicular asymptotes and the dick's tensile strength, as well as the most probable region of dick warts soon...haha!

The Story of Premature

2007-05-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

Alright...some of you may wonder why a guy would choose a name like Premature. Oh wait...he didn't pick it. It was given to him by us..lol. Though before i continue, Premature insists that my description of the story is exaggerated...but we all know that he's lying!

So he meets this chick at a tuition lesson and falls in love with her. By "love" I mean, a teenager from an all-boys school who's excessively horny and craves for contact with the opposite sex, which we all can understand right?

1 year and 2 months into the relationship (sofar they've only held each other) she grabs his hand and Premature's body stiffens for just a moment, as though time had stopped. At that instant he relaxes and yup...he blew the load! (Premature would like you to know that he easily gets steamed by her, so...) But don't worry man, its a gift! Other guys actually need more than just a touch..haha!

So we figured that Premature is an awsome name to remember him by...

That's Premature in the shower...

My Friend's Trip to Greece

2007-05-18T19:40:00.000+08:00

Just a few days ago my friend sent me his holiday picture from Greece. Its a beautiful scenery. You might notice that strange cliff in the middle of the picture...enjoy!

The Day We Were Born

2007-05-18T17:32:00.000+08:00

18 May 2007..
Yup, SAJC can be a boring place...but 9 Bastards have come together to make it MOE's Nirvana. Virgin, Fitty-Fitty, Arab, Sexual Frequency, G-Spot, Premature, Rated Ash', Sad Face and Ethnic Cleanser (I know his name sounds mean, but please make an effort not to beat the shit out of him; he's just a product of pure evil who believes that birth is an STD) are the pioneer members sofar. For those in SAJC, you probably don't know who we are but do look out for guys wearing B-Crew shirts and get to know them...your JC life will never be the same!